Tears on Tuesday

I am constantly amazed as I grow older, how life can change seemingly with the drop of a pin.

Today I am thinking of a friend who in ten days went from being an alert, vibrant woman, to one requiring constant and total care. How could this be? I ask myself. What had been going on in her body undetected, until suddenly she was no longer able to care for herself.

Ten days before the decision was made, she had been diagnosed with cancer of the lung (not the asthma for which her usual doctor had been treating her). This was a real shock to her. The next day she smashed her car and the next she was hospitalised with breathing problems and then she tested positive for Covid.

A cushion and mohair stole for comfort when she is sitting

My feeling is that this 87-year-old woman said to herself, enough is enough. I can’t carry these burdens on my own any longer. I need help.

As a gardener, I knew she would appreciate this lovely pillow

While I hate the thought that she can no longer care for herself, I am pleased that she accepted the advice to move into the care facility. She will be safe and cared for there. I will visit her every week (she lives some 45 km away) and will continue to take things to her to make her room more comfortable, but she is suddenly a different person. The friend I have had for 50-plus years is no longer there. She has no signs of dementia but she has lost interest in everything.

How cruel it is to see such a sudden and shocking change in a person.

Feeling less than cheerful here in the antipodes today. But as we know “This too will pass” the feeling not the situation regarding my friend.

JB July 26, 2022
Wellington, New Zealand

30 thoughts on “Tears on Tuesday”

    1. Oh thank you so much for that. I really love that song and it takes me back to when my late husband was still alive 24 years ago

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  1. I’m so very sorry to hear about your friend. Those really were a lot of blows for her to absorb in one fell swoop. But she’s so lucky to have you, and I hope you’re able to still be there for her. It’s possible that she’ll rally, as any one of those things could have led to depression and mental or physical exhaustion. I’m recovering from Covid and feel like I’m suddenly 10 years older. But a friend who has already been through it assures me that in a few weeks I will get younger again! I hope your friend stabilises end is again the person you’ve always known .

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    1. thank you Barb. It’s so very hard to be on the outside watching this. I too am hoping that she will pull out of this depression. I’ll just keep going to her and helping her in anyway I can.

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  2. I don’t think I even know anybody that can place a parent or other relative in a nursing care facility. I sure could not pay for one for me if the time comes and my children are not financially able to help. If I were to sign over my entire social security check and my State of Florida pension check, I don’t think I could get just a broom closet in a nursing care facility. It’s frightening.

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    1. My friend has no family here. Her only brother lives in the UK and so I must step in to be a sister. The cost of the care is $200 plus a day so some 70,000+ a year. It doesn’t take long to eat into your capital at that rate. Thanks for the comment.

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